Never and Always
by Kuroshi44
Summary: 'He has been at the Earl's side for so long, like a shadow.' Lau never knows what he is talking about, but he's always right. pairing is more implied than actual
1. prolouge

**AN: based/inspired by several things that keep popping up in the manga that have not been explained in the chapters available to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own black butler and make no claims to know what the wonderful Yana Toboso is planning to do with the hints given. This is just a guess to keep me (and others) entertained until she reveals all (which hopefully she will do, soon, for the sake of my sanity.)**

Every child has an imaginary friend and Ciel was no different. Despite being surrounded by people whom he loved he still followed that child's instinct to create a person who only he could see and who he could always rely on. When he announced to his parents that he had an older twin brother who was identical to him his parents did what any other parent would have done, went along with it while privately dismissing the notion. All children create and depend on a person who no one else can see.

The difference between Ciel's 'twin' and other children's imaginary friends was simple. Anyone could have seen Ciel's twin if they had decided to look closer.

The funny thing about humans is that if they do not believe in a possibility they will dismiss anything that has the potential to prove it. They will not notice that the small child following his parents has a slightly darker shadow than those around him. People do not notice that sometimes when they are talking to this breathtaking boy he is instead a mirror image to the young master.

Every child has an imaginary friend but Ciel's was different, Ciel's was not an illusion but an actual demon.


	2. brothers

**brothers**

Ciel hid in the wardrobe as his twin brother stood before his parents, shame faced as they berated him for losing the prototype for the toy that was to be sold in the company his father was trying to build. Ciel felt bad that his twin would take the blame for something he had not actually done; however it was an unspoken rule between them that no one should ever see the two together at once.

The toy itself was not actually lost; it was just that the truth was on a scale that to speak it to any one was to sound as if he was telling an unbelievable lie after reading too many fairy tales. That would be embarrassing as Ciel made sure all his lies were believable. Hence why the stuffed rabbit was lost (the lie), rather than sitting at the top of the tallest tree in the park, the one almost two days drive from the mansion where Ciel had been all week (the truth). Both boys had realised they had left the rabbit about two seconds after they got home, approximately 10 seconds before his parents realised that the rabbit was not in the play room where it had been left the night before.

Ciel was well aware that, while the picnic had been his bother's idea, it was still partly his fault for agreeing. As a Phantomhive he believed in causing chaos and escaping the blame, however as a Phantomhive he was also loyal and did not believe in sacrificing his friends to do so.

Finally his parents left and he was able to extract himself from the wardrobe and face his other half.

'You didn't have to do that; I don't like it when you take the blame for me,' his small voice quivered as his guilty conscious plagued him.

'It was my fault any way. I am the eldest, I should know better than to suggest things like that and I should have double checked that we had everything before leaving.' His bothers voice was gentle and calm; it felt like he was staring in a mirror that stole the emotion from the reflection.

'But it was still partly my fault. Why do you always protect me?'

'I told you, I am the eldest; it is my job to protect my adorable younger brother.'

'Even from the little stuff like a scolding?'

The other boy took Ciel's delicate face, identical to his own, between his two hands and looked him in the eyes so he would grasp how serious he was.

'Especially from the little stuff, besides it was only words. It is better that I get a speaking to than for you get a beating.' Ciel considered this but didn't entirely agree. While he had seen Edward take beatings for Elizabeth's wrong doings, he was aware that his brother was a little different to hers.

'No one knows you exist do they? Mother and father act as if they do, so do the servants, but they do not actually believe me when I say that you are around.'

'No they don't.'

'You have been with me my whole life, so I guess I take what you do for granted, but we would be in trouble if anyone else found out wouldn't we?'

'Yes we would.'

'Am I too much trouble? Will you leave me one day because you have gotten sick of protecting someone like me? I know how the world works; no one gives something for nothing in return.'

'I do get something in return; I get to stay by your side. I will never leave your side as long as it is my choice. I will always protect you, from the little and the big.'

Together the two boys stood like that, one holding the other and looking into eyes that almost exactly matched his own. This was a serious conversation and a serious promise and they both felt it, however neither knew exactly how that promise would shape the years to come.

'We should get the rabbit,' Ciel's words broke the silence that had been building, startling the other boy.

'Excuse me?'

'The Rabbit, we should get it. It is important to mother and father and I fear they will not give us dessert if we do not return it. Afterwards we can play chess, you are the only person I cannot beat and I would like to change that statistic.'

The other boy smiled, he knew well Ciel's constant desire for sweets and treats and his competitive nature.

'I am the oldest; of course you cannot beat me. The day you beat me at chess will be the day I lose all pride in myself as your brother.'

Together to two left the nursery to retrieve the missing toy. Later, after the rabbit had been returned, dessert had been eaten and three games of chess had been played and won or lost depending on who you where, Ciel lay in bed and considered his brother. All would be fine so long as he had him. Lizzy, Edward, his parents, the servants, were all well and good, but for some reason he had the feeling that his brother would be there for him in ways they never could be, that his brother would protect him from things his parents would never see.

He trusted his brother, but even as a child he knew that promises could end up broken despite best intention.


	3. demons and contracts

**Demons and contracts**

The demon lay on the roof of the mansion and swore and cursed and screamed at the rules that bound him. He hated his powerlessness in this realm. If he had a contract with the boy things would be different, all the regulation would fall away and he would be free to do what he wanted, at least as long as his master allowed it.

His Master. The term did not yet apply but he could not help using it, at least to himself.

For ten years he had been following this boy, since he had found his mother about to give birth while looking for a little entertainment. It was a first for him; to find a soul so strong it could call to a demon before it was even born. What choice did he have but to stick around? His reputation meant that other interested parties would stay away, at least long enough for him to secure the contract.

And then he had broken the one rule you were supposed to obey as a demon, he had fallen in love with his prey. Sometime over the last ten years possession had turned to protection, control to comfort, lust to love. Demons abandoned their softer emotions when they fell in exchange for power; he had not thought he would miss them. He definitely had not expected to experience them.

Such a small, fragile creature; many floors below it slept, oblivious to the world and his 'brothers' true nature. Currently the demon was 'advertising,' using limited, inconspicuous party tricks to temp humans wayward. This was officially his excuse; he could not let those higher than him (of which there were few) realize that he was doing something else.

His party tricks were all he could use to try to protect and entertain the small human child. They were not sufficient to keep the next 'watch dog' safe.

Watch Dog. Dogs, he hated them, even the pet currently sitting on the boy's bed.

The limited power and control was the difference between 'advertising' and being bound to a human. The ability to rip his master's enemies limb from limb without fear of retribution, to reveal his true form and not have to reflect the world as an empty mirror. The possibility of being his master's partner instead of a brother.

With a contract he was allowed to reveal himself as his master ordered, unattached he was forced to hide in the shadows to avoid detection, detection in this state meant a forced return to hell.

His master, his Ciel, the demon was gambling with the boy's life. he trod a thin line that could disappear at any moment. of cause the alternative was to abandon him and that would be the same as signing a death warrant.

He cursed again, cursed Heaven, Hell and human greed that put the only thing he had cared about in the last couple of millennia in danger. All demons felt a small level despise for humans, he was resolving to take it to a whole new level.

So many time in the last ten years he had had to watch as they came for the weak child, had to lay idle and trust the inferior human servants to protect the small bundle that contained the soul he so desired. He could do some small stuff, like trip them to slow them, fumble a little with their brains, but not unleash the carnage he craved.

To be bound to the boy, to mark him with a symbol that signaled Ciel as _his_. To promise to serve only his master from now until he was able to claim the soul as payment, to be able to take that soul away so it would forever be safe.

That soul, that powerful, rich, delectable soul that he would never eat; destroying such a thing for momentary pleasure would be a sin greater than any he had so far committed.

He needed a contract to protect the boy, the soul, the thing he loved; but he had no idea how to secure one. It didn't help that he was running out of time.

Something was coming, he did not know what but he knew it was big and bad and headed straight for his Ciel. If he did not have a contract he was powerless to interfere.

The demon rolled over onto his stomach and his swearing tuned to laughter. He had changed from a powerful demon to this, to a disgraceful reminder of what he had once been before he threw it away in return for power and domination.

Curse the heavens and their tricks, curse the revenge they sought that endangered the un-involved, curse their hatred for the damned that blackened even the innocent.

He could never protect the child, and he would always want to.


	4. the boy in the cage

**The boy in the cage**

It hurt, dear lord it hurt.

Ciel wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry due to the pain in his chest as his lungs constricted around the smoke that wanted to smother him, but he needed to find his parents. He did not have to look for his brother, he knew that with so many servants and intruders running around his brother would have hidden in his shadow. It was his favourite place for keeping close to Ciel while hiding from those around him; no one noticed its slight darkening.

He ran, screaming and coughing, through the halls in search of anyone he knew, calling for his parents to answer. Even his brother's presents could not calm his panic about his mother and father's safety.

And then he opened the door to his parent's sitting room.

The stench of blood hit him first, closely followed by the smell of cooking meat. He stared in horror at the sight of his parents; soaked in blood as they held each other with bodies that were no longer whole. His stomach heaved as the light from the flames danced over their corpses giving the impression that they were writhing in pain.

Eventually he became aware of someone tugging on him, pulling him away from the room. He fought at first but then he became aware of the words that were being called in his ear.

'Ciel! Ciel you have to go, you have to get out of here!' the panicked tone was not something he could ever remember heard in that voice.

'Brother?' He was confused, his brother was not able to leave his shadow if there was a chance someone would see them together. He realised his brother was trying to pull him to his feet when he had no memory of landing on his knees.

'Ciel, I know this is bad and I know that it hurts but you have to _run!_ Forget about what you just saw, you can think about it later but for now you must get out of this place!'

Slowly what his brother was saying sunk in and he rose to his feet, his first steps were unsteady but his brother held him up until he got his balance. Once he was sure that Ciel would not fall he sunk back into his shadow as the boy resumed his desperate search for help.

Finally he found Tanaka, but even as he was calling out in confusion he heard the warnings, just too late. He saw the shadows plunge a knife into his father's butler and heard words he would never be allowed to say come streaming form his shadow as the men grabbed him and dragged him away.

Not even his brother could protect him from this.

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The cage was cold and damp, he was aware of the people moving around him, but all he cared about was his brother's arms around him. He was thankful, thankful that his brother was there despite the many people around them. He realised that he must be using some sort of trick to avoid notice.

He wished that trick worked on him, but his brother would have used it already if it did.

His voice was horse from screaming and he was week form hunger, what little food there was they forced down his throat, nearly choking him in the process.

For a month he lived like that, only surviving from the warmth of his brother, only keeping his sanity from the hushed comforts whispered in his ear by the child who shared his face.

Then even that small shred of hope was torn from him.

They grabbed Ciel's wrists and dragged him from the cage. He tried to struggle, tried to scream but he did not have the energy. He heard his brother calling to him, crying denials as he was torn from his grip laid out on an altar. This was different; normally they just beat him on the floor. Then he watched them raise the knife and he understood. He tried to fight, but he had been week to begin with and after a month of starvation it was not possible, he tried to return to his brother who was screaming for him.

Then everything changed.

Suddenly he was the one in the cage watching his brother struggle on the altar, suddenly he was the one who was screaming and crying for them to return what they had taken.

Then the knife fell.

Pain, agony, like it was his heart that had been pierced, and anger so pure it shocked him. A deep seated hatred at the injustice of them taking away the only thing he had left.

As the blood dripped onto the floor the shadows began to writhe. A creature emerged horrible enough to rival his night mares; yet somehow it radiated and elegance and majesty that no earthy ruler may know. Ciel watched as the people swarmed around him, saw as it ignored them to instead turn to him.

A smirk spread across its face revealing teeth sharp enough to strip flesh from bone.

'Well, aren't you a small master.'


	5. the demon in the cage

**The demon in the cage**

The demon cursed them, he cursed them all.

He watched as Ciel tore down the halls searching for someone to help. He absolutely loathed the rules that prevented him from being able to do anything, he swore at the circumstances that lead to this situation. All he could do was follow in the boys shadow and seethe as pain and suffering where dealt to the only thing he had come to care about.

He saw as his precious creature was torn apart by what lay on the other side of that door.

As a demon he was used to dead bodies, but this was enough to disgust even him. There was a line that even demons would not cross; whoever had done this had decided to go bungee jumping over that line. Hair identified the two as being embraced in each other's arms, but those arms where missing flesh and bone. More of the bodies seemed to be spread across the floor than what remained together.

Any human stranger would have been heaving, for the boy of ten to see his parents like this . . . it was not something he was likely to move past.

He watched from his shadow as the child slowly sunk to his knees, watched as his face went slack and his eyes became glassy as they stared as what were once his parents but were now hard to identify as human. He grieved for the child as he slowly stopped moving and stopped responding, looking as if he was about to join his parents in the reapers collection.

They did not have time for grief.

Taking a chance on the emptiness of the halls he crept from the shadow and began to try and stir the small boy from his shock. He felt panic as the seconds passed and the boy did not register his presence. Finally the small child became aware of his surroundings again and he was able to get him to move away from the bodies.

He had a split second of relief when they found Tanaka; but that faded as he saw the creatures moving through the shadows. His started swearing, regardless of the tender ears present, as they took his possession while he was powerless to do anything to stop them.

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He stayed in the cage with the child whose form he took as they waited to be sold. He curled around Ciel as the men with leering eyes peered through the drapes. This particular trick hid him from perception by humans; unfortunately he could not extend it to the child in his arms.

Ciel was completely unresponsive; he clung to the demon who pretended to be his brother. He did not seem capable of anything other than to shake in the hold of the inhuman arms of the creature that had stolen his face. If he could form a contract he could get them out, but to reveal his truth would do more harm than good.

Finally they were sold; the demon could smell the corruption and lust radiating from this despicable worm. Lust for money, lust for power, and most disgustingly lust for the small form that was curled up in the cage.

When the men had finished moving them they were in a cold, damp cellar with many other children. The creature held his young boy close as he watched what happened to the kids around them, he murmured sweet nothings in the child's ear.

After so many days the first time Ciel had moved was as the men dragged him from the cage. The first time he uttered a sound was as he screamed in pain as the men and women from that cult played with him, played with him in ways that no decent human would do to an animal or doll let alone a child.

The demon cursed them, swore at them, vowed to drag them into hell himself. He considered forcing a contract with the boy, anything to get their filthy hand off of what he had been nurturing for so many long years. The problem was that even a contract caused pain; while it might save the boy it might be the final nail in the coffin that would contain him. Even if it allowed him to salvage the body it could well obliterate the soul and mind.

And so he was forced to watch as they tortured and humiliated the only thing that he had ever cared about. When they branded him he cheerfully would have broken every rule that existed, consequences be damned, to get him free.

Then they brought in the alter.

He watched them laugh as they cleared the old blood from the floor, as they polished and sharpened the knife. He clutched the body that was rapidly losing weight to his chest so hard he thought he would break bone.

And then they grabbed Ciel and dragged him out, pulled the struggling boy over to that slab of stone and pinned him down. He froze as the blade rose, higher and higher, ready to kill his last ten years of work.

He only had one option.

Forcefully he grabbed the child and yanked it back into the cage. The only way this would work was if something took its place on the slab of stone. Carefully he created his own house of flesh and took the child's place, faster than any human eye could comprehend. He heard Ciel screaming as the blade flashed into the newly made heart. With that he was severed from the corps and released into his true form. Bound by nothing, he floated in the room watching the child's distress.

Then things began to change.

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He felt the pull of the boy's soul from where he floated, felt the pain, anger and grief that signaled a soul that was willing to make a deal. He noticed vaguely that the soul was calling specifically for him, a pleasant side effect of the fact that he was grieving for the brother he had played for so long.

Slowly he let the call pull him out of the dividing world, let it drag him into the room filled with the adults he despised. Ignoring them, he let the need drag his eyes to the small body trapped in a cage, a body whose twin lay on the altar.

Finally he got his contract; finally he could avenge his master. He allowed the smile to creep across his face, noticing that it did not scare the small boy who stared at him. Familiarity and the absolute sense of relief provoked a need to tease to small creature.

'Well, aren't you a small master.'


	6. afterwards

**Afterwards**

Sebastian strode down the restored halls with no small measure of pleasure. It was amazing how free something that was meant to bind him could make him feel. He guessed that it had something to do with the nature of the bonds.

It had taken him embarrassingly long to adapt to his new role as the butler, he had played roles like it in the past and witnessed similar relationships so it was not a foreign concept. He suspected the difficulty lay in his previous deception and attachment. This role suited him better though, he would admit that. It was easier to protect the small master in this way, less complicated than playing an elder brother.

He remembered with great pleasure how it had felt to kill those people. Demonic urges aside, there was something about the way they came apart beneath his hand that had just felt good. Something supremely satisfying in there screams of pain and fear; fitting payment for what they had put his young lord through. He had worried about what the scene would do to the fragile child, but it was an order and he should have known that the soon to be earl was made of stronger stuff, at least mentally.

Of course it would be hard to top the scene that was within that room; maybe it was just a matter of desensitisation.

His master had changed so much since that moth. Gone where the joyful smiles and carefree days of the past, no longer could they fly to some random park just for a picnic. Gone were the majority of the innocence, the light heart and childish ways. It hurt to see his Master change, to go through so much sadness that it scared him in ways no human would ever fully understand.

But he would not wish away his current master. He loved this one as much as the first, just in different ways.

The strength, the scheming, the quiet dignity, such things were beautiful to any demon. He grieved the pain that had changed his lord, but this master was something he would worship and protect for his entire existence.

As he walked down the corridor he noticed Lau leaning against the wall, the man knew no manners and had dropped in unannounced to see if the son would follow his father's arrangement concerning his 'business.'

'Good to see you again butler,' Sebastian paused at the drug dealers words; they were strange in many ways.

'I am sorry I believe this is the first time we've met, though I have heard of you from the young master.'

'Humans are clumsy creatures, so easy to manipulate. It must be child's play to take advantage of their blindness.' Sebastian found it difficult to move forward. Despite everything, it was hard to believe that this completely idiotic creature knew anything about him.

'You can never have him you know. No matter what happens it is not possible for you to obtain him in the manner that you desire.'

Sebastian considered the thing standing before him; he remembered annoyingly similar conversations occurring between the dealer and the previous head of the Phantomhive family.

'You don't actually understand what it is that you are talking about do you? This is just your usual rambling.'

Lau let out a high pitched giggle that sounded as if he had been sampling his product. It had a creepy feeling that along with the smile absolutely screamed deranged.

'Nope, that's my curse. A thing you would understand all too well. I will never understand what's going on around me, but I shall always be right.'

Sebastian's laugh joined the poor fools. It was sad but so long as he was not a threat to his master he did not care.

He had a point though. He would never be able to reveal the truth about the 'brother' that Ciel had lost in the cage. To do so would wreak no small amount of havoc on the fragile master he was caring for. If he was keeping secrets he could never claim his lord in the way that he wished, not with things the way they stood. But he could keep his promise to always be with him and that was almost as good.

Besides, as things stood not even death would separate them, he had the 'always' to work on the 'never.'


End file.
